It will get better
by UberSpyAKT
Summary: This is a story about a girl  Spencer  Who has ben through some rough times. Then she meets a girl  Ashley  and everything changes. Give it a try will ya!. Seccond try at uploading, first one, it didnt publish ha.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey people, this is the first chapter of my story, its a good one I think. Enjoy**

It Will Get Better

I have been homeless, I have found out my mother is addicted to pain killers and Meth, I have been in more cities and towns than you can count on both hands, I have been through a lot in my short sixteen years here on this wonderful Earth. But, I have never, ever, known a feeling as strong as the one when I knew for a fact that I loved someone. When I knew that I had found my one and only. My forever, my life, my heart. I have had it rough, people would tell me. I never had a chance to be a kid, to experience what it is like to just, be. I had to grow up at the tender age of ten. To be an adult and take care of my brothers, when my mom would go on drug binges and be gone for days at a time. To make dinner for them, give them there baths, put them to bed. And the sad thing truly is, I never really knew any different. I was the adult, for my entire childhood. Throughout everything, I was there to take care of things. Then I met her. She changed everything. She helped me live, to know who I am. To be who I am now. I am getting ahead of myself here. Let's start with the basics. My name is Spencer Carlin. I am eighteen, and I am here to tell you my story. To tell you, that no matter how much crap you have to go through. That even when you think you will never find your someone, and you think it will never get better. When you sink to your final bottom, and you feel like you will never reach the top again. It will get better. You will have peace, and you will be able to give the love that you have been storing in your heart, away, and get it back full force. Life goes on, it gets better, and you will live again.

It started when I was 8 and we moved from California, to Staunton IL. My dad and mom had been struggling with paying the mortgage, and bills, and getting food for me and my brothers. So they decided to move us 3,000 miles away from what we knew. Mike was ten, he has a disability, he is developmentally slow because he was born a preemie at 2 lbs and 11 ounces. The cord was wrapped around his neck so he had to be delivered early. Caleb was six. He also has a disability, but not as bad as Mike. I love them just the same. Don't let anything I may say about them in this story effect the way you may think, I think about bout my brothers.

We got on a train, and took a three day ride to IL, in coach, with three kids, imagine that. My mom was completely annoyed the entire way there. Always telling me to take control of my brothers, and keep them busy, to keep them quiet. A very hard task for an eight year old if you ask me. My dad would try and help, but he was always trying to keep my mom from yelling at me, because, sometimes, I could not control my brothers. I mean come on I was eight.

When we got to Staunton, we did not have a place to live. No house was set up for us, nothing was planned. We ended up moving in with my Memaw. She is the greatest. She took us in. Made it seem like were a family again. I was able to go to the park with my dad and play soccer, and baseball. I was able to just goof off with my new friends from school. It was awesome. It went on like this till I was ten. Then my mother started leaving for a few days at a time, coming home to sleep for three or four days. And when she would wake up, I would try and play with her, or tell her about my day, and she would tell me to leave her the hell alone, and lock herself in a bathroom for a few hours. Then come out and play with me and my brother, till she left again.

I never knew she was on drugs till I was twelve. I thought all moms were like that. I didn't know any different, so why would I think anything was wrong. We had lost our house, so we moved into a homeless shelter. We slept in churches, tents, our car, anything that we could do to sleep somewhere safe, we did. After being in one particular shelter for a few months, my mom had gotten a hold of a counselor. He had us all sit down in the business room, and my mom told us she was addicted to pain killers and Meth. She looked at me and said, "Spencer, I am so sorry. I love you. I never wanted to hurt you or the family. But I am going away for a while to get better for the family and you. You have to be a big girl and help your father. I will be back and be better soon." Then she left. Only to come back two weeks later, high off her ass saying she was better. And it has been like that ever since.

This is the part of the story where you know what's going on now. So I am now sixteen. About to turn seventeen in two weeks. We live in a small house in Seattle. My mom is still doing drugs, I still take care of my brothers. The only difference is that my dad, well, he died. Actually he killed himself, the day after my thirteenth birthday. He left me a note, a note just for me. It said:

_Spencer, I am sorry for doing this to you angel. I cannot deal with this anymore; you will forever be stronger than me. You always have been stronger than me. I want you to know, I tried, I tried so very hard baby, to go on for you and your brothers. I have lived a poor life, one full of regret, and despair. One thing I do not regret is being your dad. Playing soccer with you in the warm summer rain. Or teaching you to ride a bike, and you fell, scraped your knee. And I tried to tell you to go inside cause it was getting late. But you told me no daddy, I can do this. Your face so full of determination. You were always so strong willed. And my hope is that you never lose that determination, or stubbornness. Stay strong Spence, your family needs you. You will grow up to be someone, and raise a family, and love with all your heart. Live with your heart wide open, and head filled with dreams of something better than me. I love you little girl, and I will forever, Love strong._

_Love, _

_You're adoring dad forever_

I never showed that to anyone. I keep it in my back pocket, with me where ever I go. It is with me. I don't blame him though. He deserved better, I just wish he would have been here with me. But I don't know if he would be proud of me right now. As of now, I have not done anything for him to be proud of me for. But that's old news. One day, I hope.

I was sitting outside listening to my I-pod. Paramore, The only exception, my favorite song. Some girl was skateboarding down a hill, going extremely fast. She hit some sort of stick and flipped. I ran towards her, she was knocked out. I tried to wake her up, without moving her, because I did not know if she had any damage to her spine and I wanted to be careful. When she started to regain consciousness I ran my fingers through her hair, and told her everything was going to be ok while I called 911.

"My name is Spencer. You are going to be ok, the ambulance is on its way. Everything is going to be fine." I said, I was trying not to panic, there was a whole lot of blood. It was coming from a rather large gash on her head. She really should have been wearing a helmet. I thought to myself.

"I'm Ashley…. Stay with me please…" Is all she got out before she passed out again.

When we got in the Ambulance the paramedic asked me a bunch of questions that I had no idea how to answer.

"How old is Ashley?" The paramedic asked me.

"I am not sure. I was just standing outside when she crashed. Is she going to be ok?" I asked shakily while running a hand through my hair.

"Well, she hit her head very hard; she has lost quite a lot of blood. But you did the right thing, by calling us. She should be ok, thanks to you." He said with a small smile, while rubbing his hand on my arm, trying to comfort me. It kind of helped, he reminded me of my dad.

I was at hospital in the waiting room. I had called my brother Caleb to tell him where I was, and to remind him to give mike his meds and put him to bed, also to tell him that I would be home late. He said ok and told me to keep him updated.

"Spencer. Spencer Carlin?" A nurse called me.

"Yes, yes that is me. Is Ashley ok?" I asked nervously.

"She is fine. She is asking for you."

"Oh, ok." I said as she walked me back to her room.

I knocked on the door and she looked at me and smiled motioned for me to enter her room. I did as she asked.

"Thank you Spencer, you saved my life, I owe you my life, literally." She said with a smile and a laugh.

"It was no problem Ashley. You scared me, one way you can repay me. Never scare me like that again. Please." I said with a head tilt. And a wide smile.

"You got it cutie, no worries."

I bush, but of course its kind of my thing.

I have a big feeling that, this whole thing, is a start to a wonderful, amazing friendship.

**So there it is. I hope u guys like it. Should I continue, or is it crap. RR please! If u do I will give u a million watt smile and some candy. Well, neither of those can happen unless I know where u live...which I do not. So how about you settle for a mention in my next story. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next chapter. It gets kind of rough in this one. There is abuse and some harsh language. If you dont like that, dont read it. Enjoy :)**

It Will Get Better

Chapter Two

It has been almost a week since Ashley was let out of the hospital, and we have been pretty much inseparable. When she got out, she came to my house after we took her home to see her mom. She met my brothers Mike and Caleb. She got along very well with Mike. Which is saying something. Mike is very, very picky about people he is around. But when he saw Ashley, his eyes lit up like never before. He smiled and immediately started talking to her. Ashley didn't care about his disability or how he acts like a six year old on crack. She just saw him as Mike, my brother. And I liked that, anyone that can win my brothers' over, is cool with me. I mean, I spend most of my time with them anyways, so any friends of mine have to get along with them, and like them, and that is that.

Ashley and Caleb, well, that's different. You see, Caleb has a thing where he acts ten years older than he really is, but still acts like a six year old like my brother. Think of it like this. You know how a small dog, lets call the small dog a Pomeranian, likes to bark and try to go after a dog fifty times its size. Its called big dog syndrome. My little brother Caleb is like the Pomeranian and a six year old on well, crack, like Mike. So when he met Ashley, he went all FBI on her. Questioning her, taking notes…. Literally, and eyeing her down. Ashley was a trooper. She just let him do his thing with a not so noticeable smile on her face. Though, I could see it. I am sure my brother could not.

She answered all his questions with smile and a wink towards me, letting me know she was ok with everything. I was not sure how she would react to everything. I mean, I had tried explaining to her about my brothers. She just brushed it off, and told me to chill out. That she could handle it. I nodded and said ok. I am to say the least, very shocked, yet extremely happy, she knew how to handle herself around them and how to be around them. I was starting to wonder how she knew so much, and why she was so great with them.

Its nine right now, and Ashley and I are sitting on my front porch. Listening to the wind, cars, and crickets. It's a nice combination, the chill of the night, the colors of the street lights on the dampened road, and just being with someone to share this wonderful moment with. Ashley is leaning her head on my shoulder in a very sweet way, her head tilted upwards to look at the night sky. I am just enjoying the company. I feel the need to ask her about today, how she felt and whatnot.

"So…." I say trailing off trying to figure out what I want to say next.

"So what." She says with a smile.

"Well, I was wondering. How did you know how to act around Mike and Caleb? You were so cool, and you seem so comfortable around them. Not like other people who have met them. It was amazing." I say with a small smile.

She takes her head off my shoulder and looks me in the eyes. She takes a deep breath, and smiles kind of. Its one of those, half smiles, that says a lot more than just a normal smile, you know?

"I was so ok with it because my sister, Jennifer, has downs syndrome. I have been around people with disabilities basically my whole life Spence. Up until about a year ago." She trails off with that. Sadness filling her face and eyes,

"What happened Ash?"

She looks away to wipe a tear from her face, then she looks back to me. I nearly die from the look on her face. Her eyes are filled with water, her chin is quivering, and she is biting her bottom lip. She just looks, broken.

"Um… About a year ago, Jennifer and I were swimming up at Rattle Snake Lake. We were playing in the shallow part of the lake, right by the shore you know." She stops to take a shaky breath. I take her hand to give her some sort of comfort; I know where she is going with this. And I am hurting for her. "She said she was thirsty, so I got out of the water to get her a Sunny D, her favorite." She laughs at this. "I was gone for less than a minute, just a minute Spence. When I turned around to bring her the drink I couldn't see her. I ran to the lake, screaming her name, but somehow I already knew what had happened. I looked out some ways, and I saw her pink swimsuit peaking out of the water a bit. I swam out to her, I grabbed her and swam to shore. She died in my arms Spence."

She started crying extremely hard. I grabbed her and pulled her into me and held her tight. She looped her arms around my lower back and put her face in my neck and sobbed. I ran my fingers through her hair, and had one hand on her neck to try and steady her body. Her tears were soaking my neck, I started crying with her. I couldn't help it, I was so sad for her. She cried for at least ten minutes before she settled down.

"I am sorry." She said with a sniffle.

"You have nothing to be sorry for sweetie. Sometimes, we just need to, well, cry and let it out. I understand." I said while giving her a hug.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Well, I am just nice by nature, but, you make me want to be there for you. To make you feel better, and I like to make you smile." I say blushing.

"Thank you, Spencer. For everything." She says giving me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

I hear the door open behind me and Mike comes out crying. I immediately stand up and walk towards him and wrap him up in my arms. He starts sobbing, and holding onto me tighter. Man, people are really crying and upset tonight. I think to myself.

"What's wrong Mikey?" I ask him in a small comforting voice.

"I miss mommy sissy." He says while wiping his eyes.

I immediately wish he wouldn't have said that in front of Ashley. She doesn't know about my mom yet. I have not had the heart to tell her yet.

"I know little man, she will be home soon." I say rubbing his back. "How about we go have some milk and cookies? Would you like that?" I ask him, already knowing the answer.

He nods excitedly and laughs so cutely. He looks at me then at Ashley and whispers in my ear "Can Ashley come in and have some to?" I smile. "Why don't you go and ask her bud."

He walks over to her very shyly, and stands directly in front of her. "Ashley, do you wanna come inside and have some of Spencer's famous cinnamon cookies and warm milk with me?"

"I would love to Mike, thank you buddy." She says with a smile and a laugh. "I could never refuse an offer like that."

Mike grabs her hand and runs inside; dragging Ashley's smiling face with him. Right as I was pouring the milk for everyone, none other than my mom barges through the door. High, and with her boyfriend James. She is making so much noise and Ashley looks confused. I give her a small smile and tell her she should go.

"Spence, I am not leaving you with her right now ok. I am staying." She says sternly.

"Ok, just, just don't say anything. Please Ashley, just stay in here, till I say it's ok." I say pleading with her.

"Ok Spence I will stay here."

I walk into the living room, where my brother had run to right when he heard the door. I see him hugging her and her halfheartedly hugging him back. She kisses his head and sends him off to bed. He walks to me and gives me a hug and a kiss goodnight, then walk into the kitchen and does the same to Ashley.

"Hello mother." I say.

"Spencer what in the hell is he doing up right now. God damn it! I told you to put him to bed at eight thirty. Why can't you do anything right." She says with venom.

I just shove the hate into the pit of my stomach. "I laid him down. He got up because he missed you. So I made him some cookies and milk, to get him tired again." I say. "You have been gone for a week. You could have called to let me know that you were ok mom."

"I don't have to do anything for you. You little brat. You need to do a better job with your brothers. Not keep them up so late." She says walking towards me and grabbing my arm. It's hurting me.

Ashley must have ignored me, because she is now in here looking at this mess I call my life. She looks concerned. I didn't want her to see this. I didn't want her to know what my mom is, or how she treats us. She knows now. There is no going back.

"Mom! You are hurting me. Let go!" I scream.

"No, you are a little bitch. Never doing what I tell you. Always disobeying me. I am so disappointed in you Spencer. No wonder your dad killed himself, you're the reason were alone. I wish you would just, disappear damn it!" She screamed.

"No mom. Dad killed himself because of you! And your drugs, you stupid whore!" I yelled through my sobs.

She slapped me. Hard. Right across the face. I struggled to get free of her grasp, when I did I looked at her, wiped the tears from my face and then looked at Ashley. I backed up and ran out the front door. Ashley wasn't far behind me. I jumped down the stairs, and ran to the big pine tree in our front yard. I punched it, over and over again. Till my hand was bleeding. I dropped to me knees and sobbed. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I brushed it off. Ran to the fence and leaned over and threw up. I was so angry and sad. How could she say it was my fault? I cannot even believe her right now. I was still crying hard, when Ashley walked up behind me and turned me around. She took her hands and wiped the tears from my eyes, and hugged me.

I dropped again, but this time, she fell with me. I just laid there on the ground sobbing. With her holding me. I felt sick again, I felt hurt, I wanted to disappear, just then I wanted to be gone.

**There it is. Sorry if some of the language and sitations offended anyone. And before anyone asks, yes, most of the stuff in this story has hapened to me, I am 18, not sixteen, I did live in multiple shelters since I was 10, and, my mom is a drug addict. The rest of it, is just added to make the story more intersting. RR Please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Sorry for the few day delay people. I fell of a bus and broke my arm and busted up my face. Stuff happens. Im good right now tho, cause I got pain meds for my injuries. Wooooo! for that one. Here is the chapter, this one has fun stuff in it, cause of the horrible-ness of the last one. Its Spashley-riffic! Enjoy!**

**I do not own SON. Just The Grammy Sammy later on!**

It Will Get Better

Chapter Three

Have you ever had a moment when you wish you could rewind everything? Yeah me to. Right now actually. I wish I could rewind to before my brother came outside. To the moment where everything was fine and I was perfectly content with just sitting on the porch with Ashley. To before she knew about well, everything. Why did this have to happen? I can't just have one person, just one person that can be my friend without knowing how bad things can get here.

I am sitting under the big pine tree fiddling with a pine cone. Ashley is next to me. She is constantly staring at me. I can feel it. I know she wants to ask me about what happened back there, she probably just doesn't know how to do it. I shall help her out with that.

"So how about that Sounder's game huh? Kasey sure did a great job." I know I am being a huge ass right now, avoiding the issue at hand. That's how I deal.

"Spence."

"Don't ok. I know. Just tell me how screwed up you think my family and I are, and then leave. Just like everyone else does." I say bitterly.

She looks at me confused. "Spencer, why would I do that? Do you really think I am that shallow? Really?" She says with hurt evident in her voice. "I am not leaving you right now, or ever as long as you want me around. Sure your family has issues, a lot of them." She chuckles, so do I. "But, you, you are one of a kind." She says while rubbing my arm.

"So, you are going to stay my friend? Even though my mom is a raging druggie, my brothers, well, one of them, treats you like a criminal, and I am messed up, very emotional, constantly PMS-ing, and a drug addicts daughter?" I say with a smile, even though I am still very serious.

"Yes, even with all that going on, you are stuck with me." She laughs.

I smile and stand up, but instantly regret it. I am so dizzy and feel so sick. I almost fall. I did say almost. Ashley, my hero, catches me before I stumble to far. "Whoa there Miss jumbles. Are you ok?" she asks.

"Yeah, I am just dizzy and don't feel so well." I say sheepishly. "Well, lets get you inside and to bed. I am staying the night, so deal with that." She says with a smile.

"Yes ma'am." I say saluting her.

She laughs and leads me inside. We get to my room and I realize she doesn't have anything to wear to bed. "Um, so, do you want something comfy to sleep in? Or are you just going to sleep in that annoyingly un-comfy hoodie and skater jeans?" I ask sarcastically, already getting her a beater and some bright pink boy shorts. I toss them to her as she giggles.

An awkward silence falls over us as I realize I should probably leave the room so she can change. "I'm just going to, well, yeah…" I trail off leaving my room so she can change. I change in the hallway. I knock before I go back in. Hello, she could be naked. Although….. No Spencer, do not go there.

I go in and she is sitting on my bed just smiling waiting for me. I walk to her and she gestures for me to sit down next to her. Why do I feel like this is going to be a night I am going to remember? I don't even care. I am just happy she is still here with me. She is not going to leave me. And that is enough to keep me smiling forever.

"So…." I say

"So, I am not tired yet. Want to watch a movie?" She asks as I giggle and say yes.

"What do you want to watch Ash? Comedy, Romance, Drama, or Horror?"

"Um, I think we have both had enough drama for one night." She laughs I do as well. "How about a Romance. I love those." She says dreamily.

"Notebook?" I say hoping she says yes. I love Rachel in this movie.

"Um, is that a trick question?" She says with an 'are you kidding me face'. "Of course I do. I love Rachel in that movie." I smile at that.

"Ok this movie needs some serious snackage. Do you want anything in particular?" I ask.

"I agree with you on that. What'cha got?"

We walk to the kitchen to have a major foodie moment. We get to the fridge and I feel like this is a team effort, so I suggest that we go our separate ways. She attacks the fridge for drinks, while I go straight for the…shhhhh… Secret cabinet. Insert evil laugh…now. Anyways… I go there and get the candy, chips, mallow cream, and Grammys. We walk back to my room, but not before I get a questioning look from the brunette. I just smile.

When we get to my room I set the snack-y goodness on my bed and Ashley sits down.

"So, you are about to experience what I like to call the 'OMG what the hell is that! But in a good way!" I say with a smile. She just looks at me like I am nuts. She won't think that in a few minutes. "How to make the OMGWTHITBIAGW." I say in one breath.

"What the hell Spence?" She says while clutching her sides in pain from laughter.

"It's a way of saying it without… really…saying it? Whatever! This is how you make it." I get the items ready so I can make the awesomeness. "You take the Grammy's and put mallow cream on it ok. Then you take whatever candy you want, I prefer Gummy Bears, only the green ones, and put those on. Then you take Chips just one though, so it isn't to salty, and put it on." I stop to make sure she has got this all down. She has a very disgusted face on. Whatever, she is going to like it. "Don't look at me like that, you will like it, I promise. Then you put the last Grammy on like a Sammy, and well, eat it." With my expert directions over, I give her my Grammy Sammy. Ha I rhymed.

She takes it hesitantly, but none the less takes it. She eyes it suspiciously and takes a bite. I watch her face in three…two….one….

"OMG! Spence this is awesome. I seriously thought I was going to throw up when I saw you making it. But wow, this is really good." She says still eating the delicious treat.

"Told ya." I say smugly. I do a mental happy dance, only, by the way Ashley is looking at me, it was not so mental. She laughs and tells me to put in the movie. I sigh, defeated, and walk over to the Blue Ray player and stick in the movie. I sulk back to the bed and plop down. She just giggles at me. I love making her giggle.

We are about half way through the movie and I am getting sleepy. But I cannot sleep or get comfy. Ashley is currently resting her head on my shoulder; I think she fell asleep like ten minutes ago. Lucky her dang it. I poke her in the tummy to try and wake her up. It doesn't work, so I resort to rougher tactics. I move out from under her so fast that her head just falls to my bed, and she still doesn't budge. So I decide to play dirty. I jump on my bed.

"Ashley, Ashley, Ashley!" Still nothing. "ASHLEY! Cuddle bear?" And we have a winner.

She looks up at me with her sleepy doe eyes. "What the hell Spence? Did you just call me cuddle bear?"

"Why hello there sleeping dorkle. Yes, yes I did just call you cuddle bear, sucka." I smile. "I wanna go to bed, so you need to move over some so I get all comfy and steel your blankets tonight."

"You woke me up, by being an ass, so you could go to bed?" She asks confused. "Dang Spence, you could have just moved me/" She says acting annoyed, but a I know she isn't, cause she is smiling.

"Nuh uh, you're heavy. Plus this sounded like a lot more fun." I say.

"Are you calling me fat Spencer?" She says seriously.

"Um, lemme think…. No."

"Correct answer. Get you cute blonde self over here and go to bed." She says patting the left side of the bed.

I leap across the room, which in reality, is only like five feet and land on top of Ashley. And trust me, I so did not mean to do that. She starts to laugh, and I giggle along with her. Pretty soon we are both wiping tears of laughter out of our eyes. We are both trying to catch our breath when our eyes connect. I almost turn away, her eyes are that intense. I whisper to her "Thanks for making me feel better Ash."

"Always Spence, always." She says, and her voice is like two octaves lower, and it is totally sexy.

I lean in and brush a stray hair out of her face and she leans in to my touch. I think this is a big moment for me. My heart feels so full and happy. I haven't felt this way since before my father died. I could probably give a kid that just held a soft and cute cuddly puppy a run for its money with my happiness right now.

I lean down and I want to tell her something.

"Ash? I really want to kiss you right now. Like you have no idea how bad." I say with a blush, no doubt plastered all over my face.

She just looks at me, as if she is waiting for me to make the first move. So I shall.

"Ashley?" I stop and take a shaky breath. "Can I kiss you?" I ask like a gentle-woman? Yea woman.

"Hmm, I don't know Spencer. Can you?" She says with a smirk as she runs her hands through my hair.

I just smile and lean down and kiss her. Its soft, sweet, amazing, I feel absolutely drunk off of her. It has got to be the most intense, passion filled kiss I have ever had. If I were to die right now, in this exact moment, I would die while kissing Ashley, which if I may say, is an absolute awesome way to go.

"I think I can kiss you." I say with a smile. She kisses me one more time before we decide to hit the hay. We both know we are going to have a big talk tomorrow about this. But I am not worried one bit. Not one bit, cause, I know, for a fact, that I finally did something right.

**Well, there it is. I hope u all had a good giggle from this. My Brother mike did, he is just happy I put him the story. And yes, The Grammy Sammy is so very real, and oh so very tasty. next chap up soon. RR! Tell me what ya thou my Fanfictioners! Love ya.**


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